You're Not Fast

I drive fast*. It's just easier that way.

That being said, I have a message for those of the human population that don't feel as strongly as I do about the sanctity of the fast lane:

70 mph in the fast lane when the speed limit is 65 is not fast.

I don't care how many semis you think you need to pass before you let me by. You're not going fast.

I know you're all worried about getting stuck behind some bozo going 69 mph, but believe me, your frustration at going 1 mph under your randomly selected cruise control setting is nothing compared to the aneurysm you're giving me from going 5 mph below my thoughtfully selected cruise control setting.

*Note that I DO NOT speed in residential areas. If you are speeding on my street and I happen to have a live grenade handy, you will need extensive repairs and possibly several months in the hospital.