Eat My Math Skills

According to a new Chevrolet commercial, they will plant trees and perform other green activities on your behalf should you be so inclined as to purchase a Chevy. The carbon dioxide savings? 8 million metric tonnes over the next several years.

So, some math:

Average US citizen annual carbon footprint: 19 metric tonnes

Current US population: ~310,000,000

Total US annual carbon footprint: 19 x 310,000,000 = 5,890,000,000 metric tonnes

Chevy savings: 8,000,000 metric tonnes

Percent of US annual carbon footprint: 8,000,000 / 5,890,000,000 = 0.14%

Or as we engineers like to say...Jack squat. Diddly. An insignificant amount. And that's assuming the savings are in one year. It's only 0.07% if it's over two years.

Oh, well. The ad probably works on the same people that buy lottery tickets and Toyota Priuses.

If That's Being Cool...

I'd rather be lame.

I started this as an open letter to the brat in the new Toyota Highlander commercials. You know, the kid who tells us that just because we're parents we don't have to be lame. Every time I hear him say that I fight the urge to put my size 12 Red Wings through the TV.



To paraphrase Charles Sykes from his book "Dumbing Down Our Kids":

Before you were born your parents weren't as lame as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you lecture them on the lameness of their car, try getting around on your own for a while.

Sheesh. And get a hair cut while you're at it.