#OccupyMatt

Protest in Hotel Room Verges on Violence

18 October 2011

Goldsboro, NC - A single man protesting against debt and crony capitalism has threatened to take himself outside for a "good old-fashioned Southern butt-whooping" over what he believes are serious breaches of personal responsibility.

"Matt has not made the best financial decisions and my debt is the direct result of those decisions," said Matt, oddly referring to himself in the third person. Matt cited his own desire for a fast car and a house as examples of not living within his means.

"Rather than carefully considering all the implications of home-ownership, such as lack of mobility and the expense of maintenance (those gutters don't clean themselves!), Matt bought a house near the peak of the housing boom," said Matt. "Now I'm stuck with a mortgage to pay and live more than an hour from work."

When asked why he still makes the payments on the house despite owing more than it's worth, Matt replied, "When Matt borrowed the money he agreed to pay it back. None of the loan documents implied that it was no longer necessary to make payments when it didn't feel good."

"Matt needs to bail out Matt," said Matt regarding a solution to the problem. "When Matt lives within or, even better, below his means the situation will correct itself. We even expect surpluses over the long-haul."